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. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfNEnXKhf_k[/youtube]
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'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust ...'
He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four-year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?' -
Re: Happy Holidays
BOB.....that was the funniest thing i've seen......i'm still laughing...
and the look on that dog.....lol.....
thank you for the laugh
and Merry Christmas to you and yours...... -
Re: Happy Holidays
now that's one wrap song I can relate too...
CFTruth is the cement that holds the bricks and stones of a sane and civilized society together. Remove the former and the latter will crumble.Comment
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Re: Happy Holidays
It's that time again! A few rules to keep in mind for holiday parties...
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see
carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum
balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. It's rare.. You cannot
find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it
has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn
into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one
for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of
your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports
car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat
other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.
This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the
buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of
eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of
bettas. If you leave them on Aquabid, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Pecan. Have a slice of each. Or if
you don't like Pecan, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, come
on, man, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read
tips; start over, but hurry, cookie-less January is just around the corner. Remember
this motto to live by:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other,
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust ...'
He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four-year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'Comment
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Re: Happy Holidays
.......now that's good tips there Bob....
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Re: Happy Holidays
Originally posted by CichlidFan";p="
"wrap"...i get it.....
yeah i'm slow on the uptake sometimes.....
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Re: Happy Holidays
8O I sent my uncle a plaque for Christmas that had this very motto on it! Only it was beer instead of champagne. But he loves collecting these kind of signs.Originally posted by PhishPhreek";p="
I love the video link. I tried and somehow eventually succeeded in wrapping my sister's cookware. For a while I thought I was going to have to find a huge bag for them.
-Laura-Comment
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Re: Happy Holidays
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Twivg7GkYts[/youtube]'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust ...'
He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four-year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'Comment
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Re: Happy Holidays
Merry Christmas Everyone!
I wish everyone a safe but fun filled holiday season.Raul
PokerFaceComment
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Re: Happy Holidays
Indeed. Everyone, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Xmas, Happy Holidays, etc. Whatever you celebrate this time of year, have a good one.
Me? I'll celebrate by eating ham, thank you.
PLECOS SUCK!
https://www.facebook.com/NickInTex1970Comment
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Re: Happy Holidays
Oh No, Nick did you kill Porky Pig ?'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust ...'
He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four-year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'Comment
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Re: Happy Holidays
No that was a South Park reference. In one episode, Stan said that he and the rest of the kids found the true meaning of Christmas.Originally posted by PhishPhreek";p="
Eric Cartman replied, "Yeah, ham!"
PLECOS SUCK!
https://www.facebook.com/NickInTex1970Comment
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Re: Happy Holidays
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYBODY!!!!Comment
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Re: Happy Holidays
Merry Christmas everyone.....
May your holiday be filled with spending time with someone/those you love.......
Be safe if your traveling....have fun with whatever you choose to do.....Comment
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Re: Happy Holidays
Merry Christmas everyone! Thanks for the chuckles, Bob. Hope Santy Claws brought each of you something wonderful.
MarkWhat are the facts? Again and again and again--what are the facts? Shun wishful thinking, ignore devine revelation, forget what "the stars foretell", avoid opinion, care not what the neighbors think, never mind the unguessable "verdict of history"--what are the facts, and to how many decimal places? You pilot always into an unknown future; facts are your only clue.
Robert Anson HeinleinComment
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